DON'T PUT A COLANDER
IN THE DISHWASHER
It'll break
And by "it", I mean both. You'll have no colander and no dishwasher. And then what'll you do? Sob softly into your hands, probably. That's what I did.
"But I've put a colander in the dishwasher before"
You can also drive without a seatbelt and survive—that doesn't mean you should. You got lucky. Prick.
It's not a dish
You don't eat out of it. The dishwasher is for dishes. Silverware is dishes (spoons are like very tiny bowls). Colander is not dishes.
Also this is an ad for our improv show
We're Hive Society, a long-form improv comedy group here on campus.We have our once-in-a-lifetime "Don't Put a Colander in the Dishwasher" show this Saturday, April 5th, at 7pm in Gregory Hall.
We'll also post about it on our Instagram: @hivesocietyimprov
Kerplow!
That's what could happen when you put a colander in the dishwasher. Do you want to have to explain to your apartment's maintenance guy why the entire kitchen is a smoldering pile of ash? Do you want to look your parents in the eyes and tell them you're homeless because you were too lazy to hand-wash a goddamn colander?Experts Agree
Decades of research have been inconclusive on why exactly the dishwasher and the colander are such natural enemies. But we do know one thing for sure: putting a colander in the dishwasher is a recipe for disaster, peril, and destruction. This much is clear.
Handwashing
If you seek entrance into the kingdom of heaven, you must hand-wash every colander you encounter.Your life on earth is temporary, but your afterlife is eternal. Would you prefer to suffer just because you failed to resist the satanic temptation of the dishwasher?
Testimonials
Thank god I saw this before I made dinner, I could've lost everything!
Lukas U. - Puppy Tickler
I'm constantly impressed by the advocacy these guys do. It's like nothing I've ever seen.
Barack O. - Twitter User
Putting a colander in the dishwasher killed my grandma. Glad to see awareness being raised.
Alma M. - Statue
Frequently Asked Questions
